For Mantis

[iamjustvisiting]

It had been a couple days since the incident with Yani and Tommy was out of his mind. He was chain smoking (something he rarely did at all, smoke), drinking like a fish, and wandering aimlessly through the Nexus. He couldn't sit still and that paired with the fact Antheans didn't sleep left him manic.

The other downside of the incident is that it had stirred up the memories of his torture. He couldn't get his empathy under control, though luckily his telepathy was closed up tight. The over 6 foot, unusually skinny man with orange hair wandering frantically about was disturbing the others. He didn't care. He couldn't care. He just wanted the memories to stop. The more he fought them the louder they seemed to become. It was a wonder he hadn't worn a track in the sidewalks around the Plaza where he was making his randomly patterned rounds.

Something had to give or he was going to lose his mind.

Comments

[iamjustvisiting]

Tommy slips very easily into mental communication as one might ease into a favored chair. In a world that was parched, mental communication conserved water that would be lost with the use of voice.

Tommy is still focused on playing with Yaga but his mind reaches out to respond. An image comes of three rather scruffy looking cats sitting in a house. They are tussling but stop when there's a person entering. Not only are Tommy's thoughts there, his dislike of visitors, but also an impression of emotions from the cats that are clearly displeased by the stranger being in their domain.

The cats' memories and Tommy's blend seamlessly because he talked to his cats, felt kinship with them in ways he didn't feel toward humans. This may also be the first moments that Mantis realizes the mind, and person, before him is wholly alien. He misses the cats but there's a sense of them being secure with someone caring.

[ginger_firebird]

Mantis completely understands how someone could slip so easily into mental communication. It was his only way of putting his thoughts forward for years, and here he is finding someone who slides into it like it’s nothing.

He likes the images of the cats, disinterest in the newcomer and all. He offers up an image of Yaga’s tower in the living room of his apartment: looking down from the tallest section and carefully turning and rolling to keep his eye on Mantis and those he has over to visit. Unlike Tommy’s cats, Yaga is a friendly thing who likes meeting new laps to sit on and hands for petting.

It’s surreal hearing how differently Tommy thinks of the cats as opposed to people. He supposes it has to do with how Tommy isn’t human, but it seems to go deeper than that. There’s an emotional response that’s instinctive in how the other man thinks and expresses his thoughts at others. Mantis doesn’t doubt there are strange things that Tommy can do. An idle thought crosses his mind, inquiring as to whom Tommy lives with that takes care of the cats.

[iamjustvisiting]

Tommy has been focusing on Yaga mostly but the inquiry comes to him. It is soft and gentle but the way his mind has sunk into this communication allows a sense of even the most fleeting thoughts. For a moment it cause a wave of push back because Tommy doesn't want to think about the subject.

His resistance doesn't hold the thoughts at bay. A series of photographs come to mind of Tommy with a woman that has mousy brown hair and big brown eyes. There's secondary images of her siting with other women, the cats in her lap or laying on the bed with them. Those are the easy part. It's the emotions that are difficult.

Tommy's usual emotionaless mind bursts forth with grief, loss, worry, disappointment, and some type of affection. It doesn't really have an equivalent among humans. It's not love or lust, but affection simply isn't strong enough. Tommy pulls away from Yaga and Mantis both as the depression comes and the sense that she is gone, completely lost to him.

A moment of quiet and then the Anthean's mind completely walls itself off and he's staring at Mantis again with a blank, unreadable gaze.

[ginger_firebird]

It’s a profound kind of pain. Mantis honestly feels bad for having dredged up such a wellspring, especially unintentionally. Some levels of grief are to a degree that are better left alone. He won’t forget the face of the woman or what she has caused Tommy to feel regarding her. Deep in his own subconscious, Mantis has a whole mass of emotions regarding his father and what he experienced as a child. Everyone carries their trauma a bit differently.

He nods silently and watches Yaga keep his gaze upon the alien. The catwing wriggles against Tommy’s legs and meows. At least one of the three is untouched by greater strife. Mantis kneels down and gets Yaga crawling up back to his shoulders, wings flexing as he gets settled into a new perch.

“You’re not alone in this place. There are plenty here who have felt pan before.”

[iamjustvisiting]

Tommy is slow to respond and when he does it is emotionless again. "I'm alone everywhere."

He was the last of his kind, forever altered so he would never look like his own species again. There was a special kind of loneliness in those thoughts. He watches the cat and meets its gaze instead of Mantis'. "There aren't any others like me."

[ginger_firebird]

It takes a few seconds to process what Tommy means, but Mantis understands quickly. There's no real comparison that he can think back to on Earth, let alone in any kind of media. Yaga is still purring loudly and meows, flexing his wings.

"No one is ever completely alone. We lose people who are alike in some ways and then find ourselves in the company of others who we can bond with on another level. It's not easy or simple, but it's very much possible."

[iamjustvisiting]

"Easy words from an abundant species." Tommy's gaze glazes over a bit. "Humanity always imagining their experience and emotions dictate how every thing else exists."

Tommy's eyes meet Mantis' mask blank and unblinking. "You're arrogant in your assumption. It's why your species remains ignorant."

Tommy's own brand of Xenophobia and dislike of humans comes full to the surface. It usually remained carefully tucked away, easy to hide after decades living among, living as a human. Darkness is starting to creep into Newton's otherwise emotionless presence. He hadn't thought much about his views on humans since escaping his captivity but the curious amusement he had regarding them with when he arrived had left the moment they fused his prostheses to his body with radiation. When they robbed him of his appearance things changed fundamentally and in ways that could never be recovered.

[ginger_firebird]

That…was completely fair. He’s out of his depth when it comes to someone so old and so profoundly hurt and different from the kinds of people Mantis is used to. He nods, knowing there’s nothing he can do to change that kind of mind when it comes to humans.

“We’re not a good species by many measures. More so by yours.”

Yaga flattens his ears slightly, but still keeps his gaze on the other man. Mantis knows he’s touched a hell of a nerve, but he’s not about to assume there’s anything he can do to solve it.

“You don’t have to hide the anger if it hurts you more to do so. No one can blame you for being in pain.”

[iamjustvisiting]

"In the distant pass ours behaved much the same." Tommy admits but then looks to the cat. "We aren't those people now."

Tommy gently caresses the flattened ears but his eyes are on Mantis. "My anger would kill you and leave me near the same. You don't understand my species or what we were once capable of."

Newton is thinking about the war. It shifts the darkness in his presence, taints it with fear and guilt.

[ginger_firebird]

"I hope humanity steps up to that before it's too late." And he really means that. There's so much of a mess he left behind, more so in the ten years between dying and ending up in this place.

Yaga accepts the pets and licks Tommy's hand again. His purring starts up again in earnest, and he calms down somewhat. "I don't, but I'm not one to give up without exhausting solutions, even in potential. No one is completely hopeless."

Goodness knows he's got some potential left in him. Yaga meows and grabs Tommy's hand between his paws, wings fluttering as he continues to clean up the hand.

[iamjustvisiting]

"They have the opportunity if they take it before it is too late." Tommy tells him with some finality. He knew when the last chance would be and still didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse.

Tommy's eyes shift away to Yaga and then almost rolls his eyes. "That is a flaw of humanity. Believing you can force others to share your hope, optimism and desire to find a solution. It alienates the alien in yourself and outside of it."